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Putin Celebrates Havana Syndrome 2.0 Attack On US Democratic Party

Putin Celebrates Havana Syndrome 2.0 Attack On US Democratic Party
by Kent Wilson | Political Satire, World News
"It's brilliant. It's working perfectly."

Vladimir Putin kicks his feet up on the desk, leaning back in his chair, with a smile to light up a room.

On the wall, televised video of China's President Xi shows the Chinese President both laughing and shaking his head at the same time.

President Xi says, "The Democratic party was already suffering advanced retardation before any of this even started. Now we have truly roasted their brains with our new enhanced weaponry. We must be sure they never discover our technology. We have already started an aggressive disinformation campaign calling Havana Syndrome fake news across multiple US media outlets."

With a thick accent, Putin says, "I am very glad we have made this allegiance. We are attacking them on so many fronts they cannot keep up. Our propaganda teams are fueling the explosive growth of the radical left progressives and it is certainly sowing the division our intelligence teams had predicted would take place. If we keep this up a future U.S. President might very well be the Bearded Lady himself from a Romanian gypsy circus of elephants, monkeys, and lion tamers."

Xi laughs. Putin laughs.

President Xi replies, "Your Soviet humor is sometimes hard for me to understand, Vlad, but I think I get it. Joseph Biden is their bearded lady... he's just missing the beard. He can't grow any body hair anyway, not after our Havana syndrome event at the Democratic convention of 2020... what a success. We zapped that entire convention. Havana Syndrome 2.0... It targets the specific area of the brain that controls critical thinking, causing many to embrace transgenderism and even each other... and most importantly, this one is not detectable."

Putin says, "It is brilliant... no headaches, no disorientation. Just complete retardation. Their own people call them insane. We must continue to strike the radical left progressives with our weaponry."

They both laugh again.

Putin says, "Are you watching this -- about the government agents being bussed in by the FBI on January 6? We need to make that story go away. Can your proxies make that happen?"

President Xi smiles. "Consider it done, Vlad. I have Joseph Biden on speed dial. When he answers that phone, he's like a golden retriever that wants to play fetch. Whatever we ask, we get."

Putin says, "You can say that again. I couldn't imagine in my wildest Soviet dreams that the American people would ever elect a politician like Joseph Biden to be their President. We need to capitalize on this while we can."

"Yes, while we can," says President Xi. "While we can."

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