HONOLULU, HAWAII -- A phone rings in former Democratic Representative Tulsi Gabbard's office. An assistant takes the call as Tulsi glances over, Tulsi becoming immediately curious because of the expressions on the assistant's face as she holds the phone to her ear.
The assistant says aloud, "You're gonna want to take this call." She laughs, then giggles. "Do you remember that television show from the 1990s called MTV Punk'd with Ashton Kutcher?... Celebrity pranks."
Tulsi smiles. "Yes, I remember that. Those were funny."
The assistant says, "I've got Ashton Kutcher on the line. He wants to talk to you -- says he just saw a news report about Homeland Security's Quiet Skies program putting you on a terror watchlist."
"Please transfer him over," she says. "This might be interesting."
A second later Tulsi is on the phone with Ashton Kutcher.
"This is getting out of hand," Kutcher says. "They did this to a buddy of mine as well. After seeing your story, I think we need to flip the script on these guys and it's time that MTV Punk'd got a reboot for 2024."
"What did you have in mind??" Tulsi asks, laughing, already fully on board.
"Well, we're going to use some actors, close friends of mine. I've also been consulting with a former FBI agent -- a whistle blower who left the agency several months ago... If we're gonna pull a prank, it needs to be elaborate. We want to use their best methods against them. That's part of the big laugh we're going for. Shine a light on how retarded and harassing the government is getting with people. I mean, that's horse crap -- they put you on a terror watchlist just because you warned about a Kamala Harris presidency?? They should be rewarding you. Everything is backwards... The White House is on drugs... Kamala Harris is not the leader we need right now. China, Putin, Iran, North Korea -- we're gonna lose."
"Wouldn't you be turning against the Democrats?" Tulsi interjects. "I thought most of Hollywood was on their side?"
"Like you, like RFK Jr, I think a lot more people are waking up to just how dangerous and radical these policies are becoming. Hell, even the Rock backed away from Biden. Stallone is speaking out. Word is getting around... Using pronouns and watching transgenders dominate women's sports is about the stupidest thing anyone could come up with... Now we got Tampon Tim Walz? The Democrats are coming after our kids -- in California they can take kids away from parents that don't agree with school teachers encouraging their kid's gender change... I do not want my boy to turn into a girl."
Ashton sighs. He continues, "A buddy of mine left California with his kids -- it's just getting too crazy. So he moved to a Conservative area and found out it's heavily policed by Biden's FBI. My buddy knows more than one person on the inside, local law enforcement. It turns out there are multiple FBI fronts in rural communities and red counties, agents who may be posing as general contractors, cigar bar patrons and pub owners, gun store owners, and even private businesses with names like 'Patriot Plumbing' and 'Freedom Firearms' and 'Don't Tread on Me Survival Supplies'. It's the same kind of thing they use to do when going after the mob back in the 80s."
"That makes sense," Tulsi says. "Especially when it looks like the government just tried to take out President Trump. They might very well have a plan for going after Conservatives."
"Heck, they put you on a terror watchlist -- isn't that proof enough?" Ashton exclaims. "This is happening across America," he continues. "Anywhere there's a strong Conservative base, the feds are deeply entrenched. They might even have Trump stickers on their cars... These are deep cover agents playing the long game and ready to stamp out any Conservative resistance to the Biden Administration and any potential rigged election."
Tulsi laughs. She says, "The Democrats are angels -- all glowing halos. They would never rig an election," she says with some sarcasm. "As millions of illegals stream across our borders and now Democrats are trying to turn them into registered voters. Really?? That's the biggest election scam in history. That's probably been their plan the entire time."
Tulsi replies, "So you're going to reboot MTV Punk'd -- what's the first episode going to look like?"
Ashton laughs. "Hold your breath," he says. "We're gonna form a political group called Nerds for Trump. Total classic nerd attire. The speech, the body language, all of it... The goal is to trick the FBI into infiltrating our group with their own nerds, get them to bus in agents for a total sham political rally."
Ashton pauses, then continues, "Our tag line will be, 'watch our nerds conversate with their nerds. FBI scores a homerun on this one. I don't even think they're acting anymore... In 2024, this is Biden's DEI FBI in its natural environment'."
Tulsi laughs. "You can say that again."
