Julia, an assistant to the producer, replies, "We've got our writers working on content as we speak. We just finished the first skit -- it's ready to air for the first episode." She smiles and points with a remote control to a large television mounted against the far wall. She pushes a few buttons and a screen loads.
Across the screen it reads, "JONESING WITH HUNTER BIDEN AND GAVIN NEWSOM". Julia giggles, trying to hold back laughter, and pushes the play button on the remote.
An actor that looks like comedian Nate Burgatze is playing Hunter Biden, who's seen driving a nice sports car, a bunch of art work in the back seat. On screen, Hunter Biden says suddenly, "Call Gavin Newsom."
The car replies with a female robotic voice, "Calling Gavin Newsom."
Suddenly the screen splits into two screens, Hunter Biden in his car on the left, and a smiling Jimmy Failla in costume playing Gavin Newsom on the right.
"Governor Gavin here," Failla says, reclining in the governor's chair, the seal of the State of California on the wall above his head. A second later he says, "Hunter, it's about time you called. I was getting worried. Really worried."
Hunter replies, "DUDE -- everybody is out of inventory. Can't find it anywhere. Nothing. No bueno. Kristi Noem, Donald Trump -- the cartels can't move their product. You and I have a serious problem."
Gavin sighs, shaking his head, starts rocking forward in his chair with heavy anxiety. "This is not good. This is not good. This war on the cartels is going to be the end of coke coming across the border. Did you see that Coast Guard seizure off the coast of Florida?"
"I did!!" Hunter shouts, "Over $500 million in product. How do we get our hands on that? It's gonna be destroyed!!"
"Don't worry," Gavin replies. "I've still got some connections in the trans-community. Not all of them hate me. Thanks to that trans-friendly judge blocking Trump's order to get trans out of uniform. They're on our side still. That Soros' money buys a lot of loyalty."
"That dude's like Jabba the Hut!!" Hunter shouts, amped up. "He kind of looks like him too. He's so crooked -- but he's so smart. I'm glad he's on our side. What do we do, Governor? We got to get our hands on this."
Gavin's tone gets serious. "Hunter, do you have a lap top with you?"
"ALWAYS," Hunter replies.
"You don't watch Newsmax, do you? Get rid of it now -- no more laptops," Gavin says point blank. "What I tell you next is for your ears only. In other words don't go telling this to anybody you might be out partying with."
Gavin and Hunter hatch a plan. They are going to intercept the recent Coast Guard drug seizure and take it for themselves...
"We need to do something," says Hunter. "Or you, I, and our associates are going to be seriously jonesing... I am jonesing right now."
"I'm jonesing myself," Gavin replies. "It's like that time way back. Do you remember that time?"
"Who could forget??" Hunter replies. "I remember that time..."
FLASHBACK 20 YEARS
Hunter Biden and Gavin Newsom driving fast through the streets of Los Angeles in a newer model convertible Corvette. Hard rock music is blasting out of the car stereo. It's 2005 and both Hunter and Gavin, a few years younger, are sporting mullets. And yes -- the year is 2005. But they wear that mullet proudly.
Gavin, highly intoxicated in the passenger seat, takes a drink out of a flask, and, smiling, shouts over the wind at Hunter, "I'm going to be Governor one day!!"
Hunter says, "Hell yeah, player!! And I'm going to be President... Let's go get that hook up -- one day it might be hard to come by."
---
"Tune in next week for 'Dude Where's My Car' with Hunter Biden and Gavin Newsom. The laughs continue on Fox Saturday Night. Conservative comedy takes on the liberal left... Elon Musk announces the first transforming Tesla truck -- when threatened or attacked, it transforms from a truck into a talking Tesla robo cop -- and kicks liberal ass. Elon's first victim? A ski-mask wearing Tim Walz fire-bombing a Minneapolis Tesla dealer... Little Timmy gets served."
