Survive Any Disaster - Satire News in a World Gone Mad
Survive Any Disaster - Satire News in a World Gone Mad

A New Law in California Protecting LGBTQ Individuals Accidentally Blocks Abortions — "Fetus Has Yet to Make a Choice on Its Gender"

California LGBTQ Law Accidentally Blocks Abortions
by Kent Wilson | Political Satire, U.S. News
It turns out "Fetus" was a typo. California Governor Gavin Newsom signed the new law and the state is now in CHAOS. Black Lives Matter has issued death threats to LGBTQ & Gay Pride organizers. "We have every right to abort these unwanted babies. They don't matter."

The directors of Planned Parenthood are also up in arms.

California is the most populated state and one of Planned Parenthood's biggest suppliers of clients. If abortions decrease across the state due to this new law, government funding to Planned Parenthood is likely to take a cut as well. That means layoffs and closures at a number of Planned Parenthood locations across the state.

"That would be a tragedy," says the CEO of Planned Parenthood. "So many of our staff have worked hard to keep new clients coming through the doors, especially with the economy's inflation and our increased operating costs this year."

Not all is lost it turns out for Planned Parenthood. "Now that we've gotten social media platforms to ban conservative interference, we can run what we call parenthood education ads. These are ads designed to inform young women that parenthood means expensive obligations, babies crying, dirty diapers. The list goes on. Pregnant women can say good by to the freedoms they currently enjoy as single women without children. We've already seen an increase in calls for service."

Surprisingly there is one group that sides with LBGTQ and the abortion ban.

A California coalition of environmental groups have released the following statement:

"We strongly believe that a fetus has every right to choose its gender. Yes, that does mean letting this new life live long enough so that it can tell us one day what it identifies as. This will also reduce the amount of carbon produced by the steady cremation of corpses month after month. Finally, we will have cleaner air and less smog."

Planned Parenthood rejects these statements from the California environmental groups and has promised a federal lawsuit. "Calling an aborted fetus a corpse should be a hate crime. It's designed to make women feel guilty about their right to choose."

Sadly, Governor Gavin Newsom wasn't available to comment on whether calling an aborted fetus a corpse should be a hate crime or not.

We reached out to his office but he was at a funeral following his daughter's recent miscarriage that had gone unreported initially. The miscarriage occurred just 14 weeks into a recent pregnancy and the family apparently is devastated. She recounts on X feeling the incredible painful loss after "being with child and losing my baby" as she ended that tweet. The father, who is unknown, was unavailable for comment.

The governor has requested leave for the next 3 days but his office does promise a response when he is back.

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Survive Any Disaster - Satire News in a World Gone Mad
Survive Any Disaster - Satire News in a World Gone Mad

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